Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) can be very straining on relationships. People with ADHD find it difficult to be in a relationship. Maintaining a relationship with a person with ADHD sets lots of challenges. Due to their neurological disorders, they are pictured by their partners as:
Distracted
Forgetful
Poor listeners
When one of the partners has ADHD, most of the responsibilities like managing chores, finances, parenting and organizing fall on the non-ADHD partner. Due to this burden, the other partner feels worn out and unloved. And the relationship starts to fall apart. But it doesn’t mean that the relationships don’t work at all. With some understanding and cooperation from the other partner, the relationship can flourish.
Understanding your ADHD partner:
People know ADHD in general, but they do not understand what it means to have an ADHD person as a partner in a relationship. It is a chronic neurological disorder that will be there for life. You cannot cure this condition, but you can manage the symptoms with medication. Your partner’s symptoms include difficulty in paying attention, concentrating on a task, and being overactive. Most of the common difficulties faced from an ADHD partner are:
Lack of concentration
Poor time management
Lack of self-discipline
Difficulty with organizational skills
Misplaced motivation
Difficulties in a relationship:
In a marriage, both the partners bring in their own set of strengths and weaknesses. But if one of the partners is ADHD-affected, then he or she comes into the relationship with some extra baggage. In the beginning, the shortcomings of the ADHD partner goes unnoticed because of their hyper-focus and extreme attentiveness and affection. However, as the relationship progress, reality starts biting the non-ADHD partner. He or she may feel unloved, unappreciated and has to take up the majority of the responsibility in the relationship. The most common problems faced by the unaffected partner in the marriage are:
Taking up financial responsibility
Doing most of the parenting
Managing home
Doing chores
Taking care of family problems
How to make the relationship work:
If the couple wants to work on saving the relationship or marriage, the unaffected spouse must understand that the problems in their relationship are not because of the partner with ADHD, but because of the ADHD symptoms. To make the marriage work, the couple can consider going for a therapy. A professional therapist who is experienced in ADHD can help the couple find a way back to their honest communication. The therapist can also help the couple to rebuild their bonds and have a healthy relationship. Once you learn how to respond and how to manage your ADHD partner’s symptoms, you will understand where your partner is coming from and your relationship starts to progress.